i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize
