no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
