That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Randomize
