I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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