porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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