look no pants
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Randomize