she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
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