o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
