Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
