dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
