He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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