i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize