we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
