I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
