You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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