go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
