i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
