I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
