New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
