u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
