I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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