my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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