Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
