2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Randomize
