Rock
Scissors
Fuck
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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