my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Randomize
