you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Randomize
