i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
zippers are such a cool invention
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
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