1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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