just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
