I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
