Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
