His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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