A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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