Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
