Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
We have started to decorate penises.
So much rum. So many feels.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
