how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
