I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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