somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
Randomize
