Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
