goodnight i made you a song goodbye
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
