this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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