If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She needs sedatives and a leash
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
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