wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Randomize
