It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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