he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
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