i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
