My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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