If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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