I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I'm passing your future prison.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
