My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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