At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Randomize
