love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Randomize
