I want to walk on stilts...naked
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
