ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
