The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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