I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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