Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
