one might say we're banned from that church
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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