Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
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