Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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