I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
We just shotgunned beers for America
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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